information overload

It’s becoming increasingly evident to me that the primary flaw of this blog is ME! Whatever I criticise, I’ve done myself… Oh well, at least I self-generate material.

Top Five Annoying Habits on Social Media.

-2. Making everything into a numerical quantity of annoyingness. 30 cat pictures. 10 productivity habits. 9 seconds which will change your life!

-1. Using social media to write about and critique social media.

1. Stalkbooking.

Social media is a great tool for keeping in touch. But people who watch other peoples every move from the shadows IRL are called stalkers. If you are a lurker, a status checker but in total silence, you bug me. Especially when we catch up and respond to all my news with, “yeah, I saw that on Facebook.”

2. Travel guide.

I am super glad you’re on holiday, but, in social media as in real life, moderation is everything. And also, EVERYONE takes THAT EXACT PHOTO of the Tour Eiffel (you can increase the ire of your audience simply by suddenly popping in foreign language to your travel captions!). You know how Nanna’s holiday slide shows used to be boring? YOU’RE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW! Why do I need to see every photo from your holiday?

3. Godwin’s Law Breaker.

Basically, in an argument on social media, someone will eventually compare one side to Hitler. If you’re that person, shut off your computer, you need some real life down time, and maybe an excursion to your nearest Holocaust Museum.

4. Selfie Addict.

Yes Kevin, I’m looking at you. (It’s ok though, I still loves ya!)

Worst offenders: gym junkies and faux fashionistas. Congratulations. You put together an outfit that looks exactly like an ad in Frankie. The three photos of it you took are just weird, and I’ll begin to wonder if this is cash for comment.

Congratulations. You went to the gym. Unsurprisingly, this post-gym workout photo looks exactly the same as yesterday’s. And the day before that. And the day before that. Are there not enough people AT the gym to look at you? If not, I’m sure you can find some sort of narcissist support group. Deal with your addiction safely.

1. Bonds Baby Mummies Uh, I mean, Baby Over-loaders.

This is it. The most annoying social media habit!! Too many photos of your baby in none hit, especially bad if they’re in the same outfit on the same day with barely a discernible difference between them!!

Your kid is cute. Your kid is great. But I now have 20 photos of the child and that’s just in the last five minutes. GIVE ME A BREAK!! Or give me something else! Do you see anything else with your eyes right now? And why isn’t one pic at a time enough. Did you not know you can actually take more photos, you just don’t have to upload EVERY SINGLE ONE!!

So now, I post and wait. Wait for all my friends to remind me how many times I’ve violated my own standards. Wait for people to start to defriend me. Wait for them all to finish their Lenten Social Media Fasts so I can force them to watch 42 cat videos.

The internet is a dangerous place people. In the words of Nerd Fighters everywhere, DFTBA.

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This entry was posted in HOPE 103.2 and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to information overload

  1. Hannah says:

    whoops – I’m guilty of the stalker thing (only now I don’t have FB so am excused). Agree heartily to everything else 🙂

    Like

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