How to be a super awesome lobby group, yay!

In the spirit of Mungo MacCallum, but with none of his style, here’s some tips for the aspiring Lobby Group or Minor Political Party Director on how to be super awesome. 

1. Make it clear to your supporters and anyone else who’ll listen that when governments or whichever group you’re pressuring/threatening responds to your wishes, they are making a sensible, measured decision in the interests of the people. BUT, whenever they respond to your opposition, make sure people know the government is spineless and are responding in a knee-jerk fashion to powerful but shadowy figures who don’t represent the average punter. The evil bastards! 

2. Whenever you use an expert opinion, make sure no one figures out too quickly that though they may be an expert, they’re not actually speaking on their field of expertise. A classic eg is Richard Dawkins, the biologist, discussing philosophy, theology and literature. I’m sure you can think of more examples. 

3. Make sure your press releases are eminently copy-able. After all, journalists are busy, hungry creatures, and sub editors just need to fill in the space between ads. They’ll suck up any content you feed them, especially if you make it seem like you’ve done the fact checking already. That way they can just whack it in. 

4. Take a leaf from the instruction book of great leaders and appeal to whichever emotional lever you can find. John Howard appealed to our occasionally latent patriotism with his characterisation of refugees as some sort of invasion, Hitler made it clear the Jews were responsible for every bad thing which ever happened in Germany, you can do likewise. Make it seem like children are threatened, or that those shadowy figures are out to steal everything good about television, or some other equally beloved treasure. The mouth frothers will join you immediately. 

Of course, this is just the beginning, stoop lower and further greatness awaits you. 

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